I'm not going to break any molds here by saying this: I severely DISLIKE Mondays!Now that I have that off my chest...
Today was an incredibly difficult Monday. Maybe it was because it's the start to my new 4x10hour work week. Maybe it was due to my new work computer not working properly. Maybe it was from eating leftover pasta for the third meal, or that it was 96 degrees, or that my last client gave me a lecture on the downfall of America, or that traffic was really bad. Whatever it was, today was a day where I wished moments to be done away with, eliminated, or to have the opportunity for a do-over. Overall, I was more concerned with what I needed to do tonight, than what was happening during the day. Today was not a day to celebrate moments.
Thankfully, there are very few days where this is the norm. In most cases, I'm able to enjoy the majority of my daily experiences. The key, however, is in learning how to live and experience those moments with depth. The thing about depth is that you have to get dirty doing it. You have to place yourself in the thick of things, surrounding yourself with the sensory experiences that bring a full-body awareness to your movements, interactions, emotions, and thoughts. The pure thought of doing all this makes me want to run away from it all. The key to it all is to know that moving toward depth doesn't come with a single plunge. Depth comes in the form of learning to breathe deeper and to expand the lungs in order to reach greater depths. So it is with the practice of mindfulness: expanding ones interactions and openness into the mysterious abyss of experience. One never knows the full-extent of what they may find, but they will venture forward when in possession of mindfulness and a courageous heart.
As I've now been removed from these tough moments of the day by a couple hours now, I find myself regretting the chance to fully experience myself and my surroundings as the day unfurled. By being more aware of the moment, would I have been able to see an opportunity for joy? I'm not certain, but hindsight is always an atmosphere to present possibilities.
As I complete this entry, the clock on the wall is hitting 9pm, and I see that this day is coming to a close. What can I do tomorrow to become more aware of the day? What will my responses be?
Hopefully tomorrow will serve as a return to greater mindful practice. Stay tuned to find out.
That's a great realization, Sean . . . you have to get dirty to achieve depth. We picture mindfulness as a removed and serene state but it isn't always, maybe isn't usually. Nicely said.
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